Do not worry about initiations or marriage. Your Innermost is in charge of your life, and will provide what you need when you need it. Focus instead on your psychology.
Prakriti and the Three Gunas
“Prakriti does all action. It is the Gunas that operate. Owing to ignorance the body is mistaken for the Self. Egoism of man asserts at every step, nay, at every second. Just as the motion of the clouds is falsely attributed to the sun, so also the movements of the body and the Indriyas are falsely attributed to the Self. The Self is always silent and is the witness of all actions. He is Nishkriya or Akarta. You will find in the Gita: “All actions are wrought by the qualities born of nature only. The self, deluded by egoism, thinketh: ‘I am the doer.’ But he, O mighty-armed, who knoweth the essence of the divisions of the qualities and functions, holding that the qualities move amid the qualities, is not attached.” Ch. III-27, 28.” — Swami Sivananda
“Prakriti or Nature is that state in which the three Gunas exist in a state of equilibrium. When this equilibrium is disturbed, creation begins and the body, senses and mind are formed. The man who is deluded by egoism identifies the Self with the body, mind, the life-force and the senses, and ascribes to the Self all the attributes of the body and the senses. In reality the Gunas of nature perform all actions.” — Swami Sivananda
“Whosoever wants to be born again, whosoever wants to achieve Final Liberation, must eliminate the three Gunas of the Prakriti from their nature.” – Samael Aun Weor, The Esoteric Treatise of Hermetic Astrology
Three Modes of the Prakriti
“…during the mahamanvantara [cosmic day], as a consequence of the activity of the first, second and third Logoi, the Prakriti expands and builds up from herself in three aspects. The three modes of the Prakriti are: first, the Unmanifested Prakriti; second, the Prakriti in nature; third, the Prakriti as queen of the infernos and death.” —Samael Aun Weor
Prakriti – The Great Mother
“Prakriti, the Divine Mother, is the primordial substance of nature. Several substances, different elements and sub-elements exist within the universe, but all of these are different manifestations of a single substance. The Great Mother, the Prakriti, the Primordial Matter, is the Pure Akasha contained within the entire space. […] Millions and billions of universes are being born and dying within the bosom of the Prakriti. Every cosmos is born from the Prakriti and is dissolved within the Prakriti. Every world is a ball of fire that becomes ignited and extinguished in the bosom of Prakriti. Everything is born from the Prakriti; everything returns to the Prakriti. She is the Great Mother.” – Samael Aun Weor, The Esoteric Treatise of Hermetic Astrology